A Little Lesson.

I love music. Not necessarily in the way that two of my best friends Maddie and Amy love it- always on the look out for the up and coming young artists and bands that I usually refer to as playing "sad songs," but in a way that certain music and really certain notes that are played in songs will strike my soul and can literally bring tears to my eyes. It is kind of weird. I admit. And it makes me feel old that I can basically cry if I listen to a random song in the car but it hits those perfect notes and leads me to tears. 

Some songs I love because I feel like they are prayers. I've never been the best at conveying my thoughts. Sometimes ideas and words get lost on the journey from my brain to my mouth. And I rarely think of myself as being articulate. Usually my emotions can get the better of me and I end up getting twisted up with words in an argument or discussion. So I love that songs are already written. I can convey emotions, especially, if I already have the words written for me. That is probably why I loved acting so much growing up, and another reason why I have yet to tell anyone about this blog... The words were there and it was my job to convey the words to everyone else so they could understand and feel the power behind them. Songs do that for me. Sometimes they are prayers to a God that my words could never be good enough for. Sometimes the music is more of a connection between the powerful Creator and His creation, me.

I heard this song and got chills- pretty typical. But then I thought about where it was being performed. Not at a church. But at place that is filled with non believers and believers. This is how God reaches those who don't know him. By music.

A Toast

I was getting ready to go to a wedding last week, so I grabbed James' suit and much to my surprise found the toast that 3 of my best friends wrote for my wedding. It took me back to almost a year ago to the most loving rehearsal dinner anyone could ask for. James and I still talk about the amount of love that we felt that night. I could barely hold it together that night. Here is the toast:

Dear James,

 We have compiled a list of the things you need to know most, 

So sit back, and relax as we deliver our toast.

Of her cooking, good things she will tell. 

But in your kitchen burnt toast you will smell.

She may tell you her specialty is grilled cheese.

One side white, one side balck, but remember your manners and say, "More please!"

So when you're feeling malnourished and need to be fed, 

Truthfully we tell you, remember the magic words,  MONKEY BREAD

Now that you've leanred the rules about eating,

Here are few tips about her sleeping.

She may have a conversation with you in the middle of the night. 

But she won't remember a lick of it, so don't start a fight. 

And as for the morning, she will be a little slow, 

So put on a pot of coffee and give her time before she'll be ready to go! 

There are a few things about Anna, you may need to control,

Always feed her TCBY on Wednesday's, that's the way she rolls.

As for wine, that's another tale, 

Put a CLEAR stopping mark on the bottle so the night doesn't become a fail. 

So now on a more serious note,

Here is some day-to-day advice so that upon her you will always dote.

When she is upset give her some time to chill out,

In the rare even hat you're right, she will tell you later and won't even shout. 

She likes to know that you're happy she's home,

So say hello back, or "Buongiourno when you're in Italy, close to Rome! 

You doubtedly know this, but just in case, 

We thought we would repeat, since as best friends, this is our place. 

You know that roses are red and violets are blue, 

So make sure on Valentine's Day flower's arrive so she'll still love you. 

And on those other important dates

We'll send you text reminders so you can always be her perfect mate. 

With our last bit of advice we leave you now, 

So that you'll always be happy and you'll never see her frown.

When hard times come and she is upset, 

Just let her talk about it so she will no longer fret. 

And don't forget to take her out on the town,

It will always make her smile, cause this girl can get down! 

My friends know me so well- everything in this toast happened at least once, but sometimes several times. 

Good Memories. 

The Reason

It seems that everyone is blogging these days. It's the new fad for anyone in their 20's. So why not right? Well, I like to tell myself that I have a legitimate reason for starting this. We are moving. We need to keep in touch. We need to remember. So blog about it. It sounds easier than journaling. At least I hope so...I never was a big journaler. Which is probably going to make blogging a little more difficult. But that is okay. Right now I don't have much going on in my life. So blogging it is! 

Ultimately, I wanted to start a blog when we moved to Italy, but I am kind of glad that I started earlier because this took me about 2 days to figure out, and I probably would have given up in Italy. We have plenty of time till the move, but I have a feeling we will also have some adventures trying to figure out how to even get over there and what we need to even bring. 

I guess I also wanted to explain the name of the so called blog. I have been obsessed with the poem by EE Cummings, i carry your heart with me. It has been my obsession since September, when my brother and sister-in-law had it on their wedding program. I read it. Loved it. And then had tons of memories of high school teachers hashing out this poem and making us write analysis about it. But ever since, we moved down to Georgia, I have thought about the poem a lot more. It is a romantic poem. A beautiful romantic poem. Throughout college, I carried James in my heart. He was my fate, he was my sweet, and I was never without him even though we saw each other every couple of months. But I started thinking about how it related to my life as a whole. I have an close-knit family. It was definitely a transition to move away to go to college and not live everyday with them. But I carried them in my heart.  I have made and been blessed to keep amazing friends in my life. Life friends, that I have known since birth and still have the privilege to have them stand beside me on my wedding day. People who I don't see everyday, and can't call up everyday, but when we get a chance to chat it's as if time never passed. High school friends, that have grown with me during the most awkward times of my life and stayed close to my heart throughout college. And my college friends, those girls that know my heart, watched me make the biggest decisions of my life, challenged my heart, listened when I was upset, and understood when I was being irrational. And now we are all scattered around the United States. We all have our own lives now. But I carry them in my heart. 

I am not afraid to move across the world for a couple of years because of this. I know they are in my heart, and I am in theirs. 

i carry your heart with me 

ee cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows 

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry you heart(i carry it in my heart)

Testing 1, 2, 3

Is this going to even work?