Ramblings.

It's been awhile. I know. But I have been busy. I have been avoiding sitting down and writing anything because I have been in go-mode. Sometimes it feels more like bury-your-head-in-the-sand mode. I do have lists of things to do. Finally got my application for my soggorino in...so it does not look like I will be deported anytime soon. Got the house in shape, yet I still find so many things to do with it. Trying to make friends. And maintain friends. Going to gatherings, yet wanting someone to just come over and sit. And I'm exhausted.

My brain is always on the go. Did I talk too much tonight? Did I say the wrong thing? Maybe I shouldn't have shared that with this person? Am I going to be prepared? Am I taking advantage of this amazing place, I'm living in? Am I going to be prepared for the upcoming months? How can help? Yes, I will do anything and everything set before me, to take up my time. And for not having a job, and usually feeling like I don't have anything to do, I look at my time and think where has it gone?

Tonight will be different. I will get some sleep-hoping for the restful kind. I don't have anything I need to be at till later in the day. I'm going to try and relax. Turn off my brain. Acknowledge the little pang of sadness that has settled in my heart since he left. I need to be thankful. And I am. I have so much to be thankful for. We have only been here 2 months. It's been such a long time. And it's been so short. We are in good hands. He has taken care of us, and will continue. James is safe- even though jumping out of Italian helicopters seem so much more dangerous in my mind. It is all in His control, and I am so thankful.

I love that I call this place my home. Except for when I hear weird noises this late at night...I really need a bat. Contemplating the Cold Steel Brooklyn Smasher vs the Louisville Slugger...too many decisions when looking for a good/legal weapon.

Definitely time for bed now. Good night y'all.